(and how far away I am from that…)
My journey in the Montessori world isn’t one of just knowledge – It’s also a very internal journey for peace, love, and kindness. Changing yourself is one of the most difficult things you can do. Not only does it require realistic self-examination and admitting your faults, it requires constant monitoring of that which you desire to change.
“A teacher, therefore, who would think that he could prepare himself for his mission through study alone would be mistaken. The first thing required of a teacher is that he be rightly disposed for his task.
The way in which we observe a child is extremely important. It is not sufficient to have a merely theoretical knowledge of education.
We insist on the fact that a teacher must prepare himself interiorly by systematically studying himself so that he can tear out his most deeply rooted defects, those in fact which impede his relations with children. In order to discover these subconscious failings, we have a need of a special kind of instruction. We must see ourselves as another sees us. ” – Maria Montessori (The Secret Of Childhood)
My own inward-reflection:
- I know that for myself I’d like to be a bit calmer in the face of stress, and I wish that I could channel my outward placidness inward sometimes. I’m fairly certain I have Adult ADHD as concentrating is pretty difficult most of the time. Outwardly I probably look calm and complacent, but inwards I’m a bustle of checklists, inner-monologue, and worry about having just missed something someone said.
- I’d also like to pay more attention to the level of my voice. Sometimes I can get pretty loud, which causes the noise level in the classroom around me to escalate.
- When I become upset sometimes, I can be a little over-emotional.It is a good thing and a bad thing to be emotional. I think it is important for the children to know that you are a human being as well, but it needs to be moderated by yourself.
I have been making an active point to practice what I read in all of these wonderful books, and to inwardly groom myself. I do notice it does make a difference in the classroom which is awesome encouragement for continuing!